Lot of Guts.
A businessman finds that his neighbor in the first class cabin of his flight is a parrot. They take off and the flight attendant asks what they would like to drink. “Glenlivet on the rocks with a twist,” says the parrot. The businessman orders a coke. After waiting two or three minutes, the bird starts yelling, “Where’s my drink?! Stop fooling around and give me my drink!” The flight attendant runs to him with his glass, leaving the businessman still thirsty.
Half an hour later the flight attendant makes a second round. The bird orders another Glenlivet and a Wall Street Journal. The businessman asks for another coke. Again, after a couple of minutes, the bird screams, squawking, “You lazy idiot! Where is my drink?!” The poor woman nearly trips over herself getting the parrot his drink and the newspaper. The businessman still has nothing, and after ten more minutes decides to take his cue from the bird. “Hey! Where’s my coke! The service here stinks!”
Out of nowhere the purser, the captain and two passengers grab the businessman and the bird, open the hatch and throw them out of the plane.At 30,000 feet in the air the two fall side by side and the parrot says to the terrified man, “Wow that took a lot of guts for a guy with no wings.”
A kindergarten teacher asked: “What is the shape of the earth?”
After a pause a little girl spoke up: “According to my Daddy…terrible!”